Wow- what a year!!! How much I wish I could say how wonderful our year was. How I could tell you with a happy heart that it was one of the best years in my life, in our marriage. And even though there may be a little truth in that, we will always look back at 2011 and remember the loss of 3 of our babies. Yes, 3.
If you have followed our blog or have been in our lives you know that we lost Corey Alexander O’Brien in March at 7 weeks gestation, and then we lost Taryn Christopher O’Brien in August at 11 weeks gestation. But in November, we suffered another loss of another one of our babies. We were very early in the pregnancy and because it wasn’t public that we were pregnant we didn’t share publicly that we had lost another baby. We are grateful for family and close friends that walked through this with us. We lost Adonia Lovrin O’Brien in November. This year will always be remembered as our year of loss and sorrow.
It has been hard. We have been sad, mad, frustrated, confused, helpless, fearful, anxious, angry… but we have never felt or been hopeless. If I could have things my way- this year would have been different. However, even though it has been a tough year, it will be an unforgettable year in so many ways. We will always look forward to the day that we can meet our babies in heaven, but as for the here and now: our marriage has been strengthened, we realize more and more what a miracle and blessing Calliah Grace is, our relationship and knowledge of Jesus has grown in ways we could never imagine, and we have learned and experienced the importance of community.
I can honestly say because of this year I see things a little clearer. I can see beauty around me that I may not have noticed before, but I also see sin and brokenness more. I am more aware of this fallen world we live in. I cry, a lot. Okay, I’ve always been a cry-er, but this year has made me more sensitive, not only to sad things, but beautiful things. So, if I start weeping at a time that seems random, just pass me a tissue.
It truly has been a year of sorrow, but through all the sadness we have hope. We have a joy that I don’t think I can fully explain. But I can tell you that our hope is not in this world. This broken and sinful world. Our hope is from a God that has overcome this world. He came into this world perfect, holy and blameless. Died on a cross for all of my sins and unrighteousness and bridged the gap between sinful people and a holy God. A God that loves me, a God that cares for me, a God that promises to never give me more than I can handle, a God that promises to work for the good for those that love Him, a God that is for me, a God that promises a peace that transcends all understanding, a God that tells me not to fear and to cast all my anxieties and burdens on Him. These are only small examples of my God.
So, with the crappy year we have had and year that is truly defined as a year of sorrow… we have joy and hope. We are looking forward to 2012 and to see what it brings. Happy New Year! Thanks for keeping up with us through the blog.
Here’s a BRIEF month by month overview of our year:
January- Celebrate 3 years of marriage in Charleston, SC
February- Find out that we are pregnant with baby #2
March- Lose Corey Alexander O’Brien at 7 weeks gestation, turn 30
April- Vacation to visit family in Pennsylvania and Baltimore, MD
May- Maw-Maw Millie passes away. Trip to be with Brad’s family
June- Find out that we are pregnant with #3, Calliah Grace turns 1
July- Super sick with morning sickness. Get to see our little ones heart beat. The Dill’s and Cash’s come to visit
August- Our nephew Benjamin Kyle Coleman is born, we lose Taryn Christopher O’Brien at 11 weeks gestation
September- Family vacation to Bald Head Island
October- Our nephew Mason Howell Baxter is born
November- We find out that we are pregnant with baby #3. We lose Adonia Lovrin O’Brien at 5 weeks gestation
December- An advent season that has meant more to us than ever before. Our nephew Landon Lee Rice is born.
I know that I skipped most of December with pictures. I will post Christmas in the next week. Check back!